A Decade of Motherhood: What I Would Tell My Younger Self as I Prepared for Birth
- Kathryn Brown
- Oct 1
- 5 min read
When I look back on my journey — a maiden about to become a mother for the first time — I want to wrap my younger self in the biggest, warmest hug. She had no idea of the storm and the beauty that lay ahead. I want to whisper to her: “You are about to step into the most sacred rite of passage of your life. And you don’t need to do it alone.”
Because here’s the truth: while birthing the baby is a miracle, birthing the mother within is just as profound. It is not talked about enough, but it is a divine rite of passage that shakes us, remakes us, and reveals us.
I don’t have all the answers, nor do I believe my way is the only way. But if sharing my learnings helps even one mother feel a little less alone, then my journey has purpose beyond myself.
1. Prepare for the Fourth Trimester (As Much as Birth Itself)
I spent hours choosing the right pram, decorating the nursery, and debating over the perfect sleep suit — yet not once did I consider how I would be held after birth.
No one told me about the depth of postpartum healing, the surging hormones, or the identity shifts that can feel even more overwhelming than labour itself. I didn’t know how much support I would need. I didn’t know it was okay to ask for help — or that I didn’t need to have it all figured out straight away.
If I could go back, I would whisper to myself: prepare for what comes after, not just the baby’s arrival. Hire a postpartum doula. Organise nourishing meals. Create a circle of support. Your body, mind, and soul will need to be held, too. I would have learned earlier about matrescence — and the traditions across history, in almost every culture, that celebrate and honour the sacred transformation of becoming a mother — so I could step into my power sooner and feel truly seen and acknowledged in all that I was experiencing.
This is why I now hold space for mothers through offerings like pre and postnatal yoga, sacred motherhood circles, Closing of the Bones ceremonies, and nurturing yoga retreats. Each one is designed to provide the care, rest, and remembrance that so many of us didn’t know to prepare for — a place to be nourished, supported, and deeply honoured in the journey of motherhood.
2. Let Go of “Bounce-Back Culture”
Your worth is not measured by how quickly you “get your body back.”
Ten years ago the pressure was strong — now, with Instagram and TikTok, it’s even worse. But here’s the truth I wish I had known: your body doesn’t need to bounce back, it needs to be nourished.
This is the time for iron-rich soups, slow-cooked stews, grounding fats, mineral-dense broths. Not coffee and chocolate just to keep you going. Not skipping meals because you feel guilty for sitting down.
Nourish, don’t punish. Honour the body that carried life.
If you feel lost or overwhelmed like I did with postpartum nutrition speak with a trained Nutritionist like Natalie Prescott
3. Breastfeeding Is a Learned Skill
I assumed breastfeeding would just “happen.” When it didn’t, I felt like a failure.
No one had told me that breastfeeding is a skill, learned by both mother and baby. That sometimes it takes weeks. That sometimes you need help.
With my first, I struggled. With my second and third, I had the right guidance, nutrition, and support — and it flowed.
If I could go back, I’d tell myself: invest in a lactation consultant or a nutritionist early, and give yourself grace. You are not failing — you are learning.
4. Your Relationship Will Change (And That’s Normal)
Becoming parents reshapes everything. Suddenly you’re no longer just partners, but a team carrying a fragile new life.
I wish I had known it was okay to need more from my partner. To say: “I can’t do this alone. I need you.”
I held so much inside — and unspoken needs always turn into resentment. It has taken me years (and therapy) to learn how to name what I need. If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be: asking for help is not a burden, it’s an invitation into deeper love.
5. Trust Your Intuition
One of the greatest gifts of motherhood is instinct — that deep, almost psychic knowing of your child.
At first, I mistook it for anxiety. But now I see it for what it is: heightened awareness, sharpened intuition, a compass that never fails.
The world will throw books, advice, and endless opinions at you. But your baby chose you. When you quiet the noise, your inner knowing will rise. Trust it.
The Hardest Lesson: Learning to Ask for Help
Even after writing all of this, one truth still pierces my heart: my inability to admit that I needed help — and to ask for it — negatively impacted my postpartum journey.
I thought I had to cope. I thought I had to prove I could handle it. That asking for help made me weak, a burden, less of a mother.
But here is what I know now: motherhood was never meant to be done alone. For centuries, women were surrounded, supported, and celebrated by the village. When we learn to soften, to ask, and to receive, we are not failing — we are remembering.
The Solution
To the mothers walking this path after me: you are not alone, and you were never meant to be. That is the greatest wisdom of all — motherhood is not a solo journey, but a sacred one we walk together.
This is why I do the work I do. As a fellow mother walking just a step ahead, I carry a lantern to light the path with gentle offerings for pregnancy, postpartum, and beyond. Through pregnancy yoga infused with ancient wisdom, postnatal yoga, sacred mothers circles, Closing of the Bones ceremonies, and nurturing local yoga retreats in Brisbane — I offer women a place to pause, rest deeply, and remember the power of being held in community.
If you’re looking for support in your motherhood journey, I’d love to walk alongside you. Connect with me here or on Instagram and let’s start the conversation.
Kathryn @beautifully.abundant.xo
Fantastic advice Kathryn! Ah if only we had a portal to our past selves. I wouldn’t whisper in her ear, I’d shout! Haha